by Faith Ongeziwe Qinga
My dress code has changed. I wear black often now, I wear black in support of all the women who are victims of Gender-Based Violence (GBV), like myself.
Since the night of the incident, I do not feel safe. Have you ever got to space where nothing makes sense in your life to a point where you start doubting if there is a supreme being that is for us all…or only for men?
Where is the God when I get assaulted by a man in the middle of the night? A man who is supposedly made in God’s image.
Where is the God when I cry instead of praying at night? At my weakest is when I’m supposed to seek his presence, isn’t it?
Where is God when I am depressed but expected to perform day-to-day duties? How can it be a normal day when I question my very purpose? At times, I do not desire life.
WHERE IS THIS GOD?
The bible claims that our bodies are the temple of Christ, but where is Christ when the very same body that is supposedly a temple gets assaulted?
The mere fact that God is known to be a man shows that he is for men. Were there any female disciples that walked alongside God? I wouldn’t be surprised if the bible itself was written by a man.
You walk in the middle of the night and head straight to assault a naked woman. And in your wicked mind, you were there to protect your woman? How do you even touch a naked woman in front of your wife? How dare you assault another woman in the name of protecting your own? You wicked man! The strength you have is not for you to assault, is it not for you to protect?
I come from a home where a man utilises his strength to provide and protect. Never have I ever witnessed my father assault a woman, NEVER! He tells me that God gave men strength so they can be able to provide and protect their family. NOW THAT IS A MAN. And that is what I know a man to be, so blame my dad for my perspective of what a man is. You are not a man! Only you and your God know what it is that you are… So if there is a God and he is a man then he is for men.
I am upset that I was not able to defend myself.
I tried to fight back, but he overpowered me.
Because I am a black female body, he assaulted me.
May I find healing through writing…
She writes to control the narrative
She writes to defend herself
She writes to gain back her strength
She writes to find healing
She writes to feel whole again
Through writing, I HAVE A VOICE.
SHE IS STRONG
SHE WILL NOT FAIL
SHE WILL RECOVER