by Dimakatso Komape
Dating in today’s modern world has got to be the worst! Although hooking up and one-night stands were around 30 years ago, I’m pretty sure they were not as bad as we have them in this day. If you’re looking for a serious relationship it might prove to be a bit hard. Technology seems to have made “casual sex” a sport and sometimes “something just to do”.
Technology has given us so many choices to choose from and especially for someone in their 20s, I don’t want to feel like I’ve missed out on “exploring my options”. Even when you meet a great person you tend to think “maybe there is someone better out there” and we fall in the trap of trying to find “perfection”. We have become so judgemental even on the tiniest things and we have definitely lost patience. This has made meeting a partner such a mission.
Social media has become an integral part of modern dating. While in the olden days you got to know a person through spending time with them, these days it has become a lot easier. You could get to know a person just by investing a couple of hours of stalking them on all their social media platforms. Weird, right? Dating has become so dehumanised that it almost feels like a game. Although social media has come with a couple of advantages it has also come with disadvantages. Technology and new ideas about sex and gender have dramatically changed laws of relationships, from who pays for dinner to how long to wait to call after a date. Because the dating scene has become so complicated here are a few guidelines to help you navigate through the new age dating scene.
Forget the old “texting is not polite” saying, everything goes down over text now. Texting is a great way to flirt. This is also a great way to give them a taste of your personality. But texts are not always a great way to go deep or get to know the person better. Still, make some time for a coffee date to get to know each other better.
Guys pick up the check
A whole lot of people believe men should still foot the bill, at least on the first date. Unfortunately, the rule seems to not work these days. Women lately don’t mind paying you’re the bill, even on the first date! So ladies maybe it’s time to stop being stingy and open those purses. It does not stop there ladies when in a relationship you also get to plan and pay for dates. Talk about new age chivalry…
Men make the first move.
Well, that’s not the case these days. Women ask guys out too. But let’s face it, sometimes the guy gets a bit shy and making the first move gives the man a helpful confidence boost. Some guys actually like bold women that take charge. And after all, you should go after what you want.
Playing the waiting game
Remember the “you need to wait three days before you call” saying? Well, throw all of that out of the window. Nobody wants to be with someone who is going to play games and feel weird when you text them. Nobody has time for games these days. It’s either you want this or not.
Keep the talk neutral
The advice used to be to avoid talk of politics and former relationships on early dates, but now many favour putting it all out there from the beginning. When people meet potential partners they want to know their values and ideologies about life. And considering how open-minded this generation has become these days, they don’t mind talking about their date’s previous relationship because it will give them a little insight on what kind of a person their date is when in a relationship.
Gone are those dates when dates had to be an elaborate night out at a fancy restaurant or club. Now watching a few episodes of The Graham Norton Show is considered a hot date. Netflix and chill are amazing. Even if you don’t have sex while you watch, you can finish a season and have something to talk about. I hope these will guide you through this tough age of dating!