When is love not enough?

by Thando Mgobhozi

I’ve come across this statement so many times and it’s always been mind-boggling to me because I think it’s such a huge statement.

You’d think that two people who love each other more than anything in the world is enough to make their relationship strong but that’s not the case. You know as they say love doesn’t pay the bills. I get it and I’ve always interpreted this statement as saying it’s not enough to just love someone without any action to back up the love and that just makes sense. It’s not enough to just say you love someone and yes loving them is just the beginning of it all.

Every single day I’m learning and understanding that love on its own is not enough to sustain a relationship. How many times do you hear any two people say they were at the right place at the wrong time or two people who love each other but can’t be together for whatever reason. Love is a verb and that is why people have love languages that demonstrate how they feel they need to be loved and shown love. A simple I love you will not surface especially in this day and age where love has become so materialistic, not that material subjects are a measure of love. A simple gesture such as preparing a lovely dinner or running the bathwater for them after they’ve had a long day at work will show them that you’re really making an effort and that you care. At the end of the day and equally, the same energy and love should be reciprocated.

This statement does not only have to apply to romantic relationships but all relationships in general. Think about it this way, I’d like to believe that parents always want what’s best for their children. They want to give their children a better life, a life that is better compared to the lives that they had as children and so they’ll continuously work towards achieving that life for them. Whether it is taking them to the best schools, saving up and investing in their tertiary education and future. All these decisions wouldn’t have been made if it was not for the love that these parents have for their children.

We all know by now that romantic relationships are challenging and it’s understandable because two people who are from completely different backgrounds come together to try and be one unit in a sense. Every day as a person you are growing, constantly finding and creating yourself which may come with a lot of changes. Sometimes these changes can totally throw your partner off because they may be unexpected at times and that is why it is never easy to fully know and understand a person, let alone just being with them. The most important thing is to always work towards keeping the honeymoon phase alive even though it may seem non-existent at times.

All relationships tend to get overwhelming at times especially if there is no good foundation of everything it takes to maintain a healthy relationship. It gradually crumbles and falls and even through all that destruction, it is still possible to love someone because the love just doesn’t go away that easily if it was truly genuine. It has come to the point where love is not enough anymore and it is just better loving that person from a distance because it hurts to love them closely.

At the end of it all, self-love will always be the greatest form of love because if you don’t love yourself you cannot truly love anyone else. Learn to love yourself enough first.

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