Wait, he did what?

by Leina Ussin

We’ve all needed it at some point in our lives, right?

You attempted to do something, failed completely, and started over. Or, maybe you met someone and weren’t in the best state of mind and embarrassed yourself. You were given the opportunity to redeem your character and show who you really were.

I can name countless scenarios where we as human beings have needed a second chance in life, and luckily, many of us have been granted one. We were able to get a “do-over” on whatever situation we had possibly ruined, and hopefully, it was something we learned a lesson from. Since that’s the most important thing when we make a mistake, right? We have to learn a lesson, and we ought to be given second chances.


Well, let’s dish out this scenario:

You’ve finally met him. Mr. Right, or as right as a Mr. Right can get in this day and age. He’s handsome, smart, courteous, all the qualities you’re looking for your boyfriend/husband to have. Then it happens. Fate comes crashing down and rips your white picket fence up from right in front of you.

But this disaster isn’t in the form of a wife or a crazy baby mama. No, this disaster is finding out your Mr. Right is a sex offender.

Now, it’s natural for any women at first to panic. You’re thinking of all the worst-case scenarios that could’ve taken place to put him on this list. And to top it off, you’re beginning to question whether or not you’re even safe around this man.

So, you’ve got three options at this point. Option one, being the most obvious of course, RUN! Run like the wind and put as much distance between you and this man as possible. Cut all ties and never look back! This is legit your right as a woman, and never let anyone take that away from.

Option two, you can do your own research. See exactly what he was charged for when it took place, and any other information you can find. Make a decision upon what it is you discovered and what it is you’re comfortable with.

Option three, and the simplest one of them all ask him. Yes, just come right out and ask him. Listen to what he has to say, hear his side of the story, and make your decision after that. It’s no secret that people make mistakes, and though I am not here to bash the law, it has been known to have its own imperfections as well.

Cases are continuously being overturned once new evidence arises proving someone who was accused of sexual assault is actually innocent. Then, there are other cases involving statutory rape were young girls admitted to lying about their ages to date older guys, but the guys are still required to register as sex offenders. And once your name is on that list, no one cares about your back story.

Now, I’m not saying scroll through the sex offender list in hopes that you catch a good guy. No! Not saying that at all!

I’m emphasizing that we all need a second chance in life, regardless of the decisions we made in our past. Yes, sometimes our past will haunt us forever if we’re genuinely guilty of something, but that’s because we as human beings sometimes have issues forgiving ourselves.

Ladies, if you ever find yourself in this situation, remember to always do what’s best for you! You know what you can handle, you know what you can accept, and know what you can tolerate. I’ll never look down on a woman who has made the decision to not date a sex offender. Just like I’ll never judge a woman who decides to date one.

Whether they’re on the list or not, you should only be with a man that respects you and treats you right! You should never feel scared in your relationship or pressured to do anything you don’t want to do.

So, in the case your Mr. Right has done wrong in the past, it’s legit up to you to decide whether you want to pursue this relationship or not. But keep in mind all the good he’s done now, before judging him based upon what he did then. And remember, there will come a point in your life where you may end up needing someone to overlook your past. You wouldn’t want your entire future to be dictated by a mistake you made a long time ago.

We all require a second chance at some point in our lives. Right?

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