Verbal abuse and lupus survivor

by Mbalenhle Ndaba


Growing up in Kwa Zulu Natal, I doubt I can be able to recall any of my nostalgic childhood moments that are worth sharing with friends and external loved ones. Being hit with hurtful words by an elder who is supposed to build you, the effect of constantly being told how worthless, ugly, and intellectually impaired I am systematically wearing me down, bruised my confidence and self-esteem, and left me empty.

Where I grew up, I was mostly surrounded by people who expected me to live up to their own mental image of me, and they expected me to live up to their expectations of me. I could swear that I was raised to be apologetic about my intrinsic, outspoken personality. We’ve all heard the proverb, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” Yet name-calling does hurt especially when the person spewing those hurtful words is a parent, a teacher, or a coach.

Among other effects, verbal abuse can undermine one’s self-esteem, damage their ability to trust and form relationships and chip away at academic and social skills. I vow that verbal abuse can be just as destructive emotionally as belting, and it puts one in as much risk for depression and anxiety. The two mentioned are influenced by seeking external validation.

Repercussions that one endures as a victim of verbal abuse

• Negative self-image – this is the most common and pervasive effect of verbal abuse. You may say things like, “I’m stupid,” or “Nobody likes me.” Or may simply seem withdrawn, sullen, or depressed, all of which can be signs of a low self-image. In defining verbal/emotional abuse, the notion of verbal abuse is that it “attacks a person’s sense of self-worth.”

• Self-destructive acts – attempts of suicidal acts and all forms of self-injury signal a problem, as do other reckless activities that put oneself in danger.

• The Verbal abuse victim may be physically abusive, frequently quarrel with classmates, or be cruel to animals.

• Verbal abuse Increases the risk of lupus, which is a disease that is triggered by stress combined with other environmental exposure.

• Delayed development – the slowdown may appear in the victim’s physical, social, academic, or emotional development. One may have difficulty making friends, fall behind at school, or engage in regressive acts such as bed-wetting.

The most prosed question, does verbal abuse do any long-term harm? Yes. I lived up to the outcomes that are mentioned below:
• become victims of abuse later in life
• become abusive themselves
• become depressed and self-destructive later in life
• develop anxiety

Read the next post to read how I figured everything out.

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