by Leina Ussin
I’ll be the first to admit, it’s hard to determine the right way to discipline a child. During their early years, we do this thing where we try and enforce empathy within them; get them to truly understand the difference between right and wrong. We find ourselves on repeat saying, “NO, no, no!” knowing they KNOW they’re not supposed to do it!
We’ve slapped hands, spanked bottoms, taken away toys, TVs, games, gaming systems, phones, etc.
We try everything humanly possible to discipline our kids because we want them to understand they can’t do certain things in life, and we want them to grow up to be decent human beings.
But recently, I’ve been seeing a trend in disciplining that’s got me confused.
Punishment for likes.
There’s this “fad” going on, where parents have been recording themselves punishing their children. There’s the video with the mom cutting her son’s hair off so he’ll be embarrassed when he goes to school; the dad who has his son working out military style as the child cries in agony; the mom who has her child dancing as he cries because he was dancing in school; and finally, and most recently, the mother beating her child with a belt because he was cutting up at school.
Now, I will state two things clearly: one, I do not have the right to tell anyone how to raise their child. You know your child better than I do, I can’t tell you what works and what doesn’t. BUT, and my second statement, I do not condone physical punishment on a child.
Now that I’ve clarified those things, I’m trying to understand when it became a trend to punish your child for social media? When did the abuse, physically or verbally, become so acceptable that parents decided it was something to record and post for likes and comments?
Though I am aware the intent for social media has changed over the years, I missed the memo indicating it was now a place where we shared ourselves humiliating children!
As I stated before, I am not here to tell you how to raise your child. If your child’s behavior requires physical attention, then by all means, that’s your child. BUT, your child, nor your social media, was meant to be used to showcase your parenting skills!
Brag about your child, yes. Show the world your child’s first day of school, grades, dance recitals, first dances, missing teeth, whatever!
But sharing with friends, family, and often strangers how you discipline your child, in my opinion, is insane! Not only are you leaving yourself open for the world to judge, but you take the risk of authorities getting involved. It’s been shared, all over social media mind you, that the woman who beat her child for acting up in school and felt the need to record it and post it on social media, as now lost custody of her child.
Was it worth it?
Now, I’ll be the first to admit I have no idea what that woman’s life was like. Maybe she had been called a thousand times about her son’s behavior. Maybe the school was threatening to expel him and she didn’t know what she was going to do. Heck, maybe her job threatened to fire her if the school called her at work one more time!
I don’t know!
But I can, and will say this, social media is meant for just what is says in the title, BEING SOCIAL! It’s meant to share positivity, and hey, if you’re having a bad day, you can share that too! Do not, however, share how you treat your child when they have misbehaved, regardless if the treatment is deserved or not!
And another thing, parents, please remember, the punishment should fit the crime! Certain things don’t require physical punishment, sometimes you need to talk to your child to understand what’s going on. I get it, you’re tired from work, you have other kids to tend to, whatever the case is, I get it! But, not everything requires a spanking, and if you need to understand the difference, there are places out there that can help you! Seek parenting classes, it’s never too late!
Again, the punishment isn’t meant to fit your social media likes, it’s meant to be beneficial to your child!