by Thando Mgobhozi
Pregnancy is in the air, says who? Did we miss the memo?
#Siyamitha2019 was trending on twitter when more and more women came bumping through with their pregnancy announcements. Pregnancy is such a beautiful and precious journey for both partners who create life and to see it being celebrated like this without it being so taboo makes it even more special. Women are much more in charge of the decisions they make and even if it means having children out of wedlock which has always been seen as a disgrace for the woman but never the man. It feels so liberating for a woman to say, “yes I want children, but I don’t aspire to be a wife.”
It is always so ignorant to think that a relationship won’t work when you have children outside of marriage and just because your partner promises you forever doesn’t mean they’ll actually be there forever. Marriages go down even with children involved and they are always stuck in the middle especially if the divorce is not a smooth process. It’s not even a new thing because we all know about the divorce rates by now. I for one say choosing not to expose your children to a toxic environment is a very wise decision because children hold onto things which have an effect on how they deal with and process things. Yes, it is very ideal for children to grow up with both parents in their lives, parents who actually love each other more than anything so that their love can be an example to their children. Sometimes growing up with one parent and not knowing the other causes serious damage to a child but life happens and you cannot stay in a loveless marriage because of the children.
It seems that after Linda Mtoba announced her pregnancy just before the Durban July, she paved the way for more women to come through to the party. Just this past week, choreographer and tv personality Bontle Modiselle together with her rapper boyfriend Priddy Ugly announced that they too are expecting a little one. They also celebrated 10 years of their union which is incredible. Fashion and Lifestyle blogger Lerato Kgamanyane who was recently on Top Billing about two weeks ago showing zero signs of pregnancy also announced that she was pregnant when she posted a photo of her bump on Instagram. She posted a rather interesting tweet saying, “… I’ve always been sure about children, not so many men.” This is a very concerning statement and for the fact that a lot of women feel this way about men in our society says a lot about the type of human beings we live amongst. Also, women are opting for the option of not going through that natural process of conceiving but through other avenues such as IVF.
There are also women who recently gave birth this year including the likes of Luthando Shosha aka Lootlove, Denise Zimba, Amo Chidi just to mention a few. We are all excited to hear that Lootlove was pregnant with twins but we were even more excited when she finally shared pictures of the twins who are very adorable by the way with one twin taking her looks and the other that of their father Reason. Even Dj Zinhle tweeted about how cute the twins are saying that she and Kairo are ready to babysit.
However, there were some comments under the Siyamitha2019 hashtag that was hard to ignore. One tweet said, “men should actually tell women they are having raw sex with that they must fall pregnant at their own risk. So many single pregnant mothers 💔💔. The train can miss me thle.” #Siyamitha2019
Another sad reality that we are faced with in South Africa is that of absent fathers. Men who do not want to take responsibility for their actions. We are always encouraging women to protect themselves by saying take birth control and always carry condoms with you but the same emphasis is not made with men who can impregnate more than one woman at a time. It’s not wrong to say women should protect themselves but at the same time, we are letting men get away with murder. It’s like the saying that says, “boys will be boys,” which is accepting that men are incapable of doing right by themselves and the people around them. We keep on treating men like 5-year-olds who don’t know the difference between right and wrong and that’s the problem.
As a woman, it’s your fault if you allow men to mistreat because you should always be the bigger person and make better choices for yourself if you don’t want to be a victim heartbreak and abuse from men. It’s the same mentality that says men wouldn’t cheat on their partners if women didn’t allow themselves to be the mistress on the side and that men will cheat for as long as there are women who always avail themselves for such. It’s sickening and men need to step up.
Congratulations to all the women who are soon to be mothers and those who have recently given birth to their bundle of joys.