How do romcoms shape our relationship goals?

by Thando Mgobhozi

Movie nights are always a struggle because each partner wants to watch their own thing. You’re lucky if you get ahold of the remote first as you get to decide what will be watched and you’re in charge basically.

I won’t even beat around the bush about this, I’m such a sucker for love and I’ll probably never retire from being a hopeless romantic. I’m definitely in touch with my feelings and emotions and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m always down to watch romantic movies, chick flicks and romcoms mostly because I relate to them so much. For me, there is a part of it that is real, a part that challenges my ideals on love and romantic relationships in general.

I know many women in general love romcoms and men most probably will watch anything that has action in it. A lot of this also has to do with how the genders were raised, men taught to be strong and not cry while on the other hand women were taught to be gentle, nurturing, aspire romance and to be with a man. That is just what society has taught us and a gender construct.

Romcoms are seen as cheesy, corny and most of the time an unrealistic depiction of relationships. Romcoms are perfect and even though there may be ups and downs there’s always a fairytale happy ending. Relationships in real life are never that easy and simple.

Romcoms per say, should not really shape your relationship but there’s more you can learn from them as a couple than you would watching a horror or action movie. In the same way that social media should not define and shape your relationship, romcoms should not have that power too. You and your partner are both responsible for defining and shaping your own relationship goals.

The characters on romcoms have a different storyline to that of yours and your partner and you can’t shape your relationship based on someone else’s storyline which is on tv and practically not real. There is no denying however, that many romcoms today portray stories that we are experiencing as human beings because we see and know about these things and romcoms just expand on those stories. This is how we can relate to them.

Romcoms do have a way of bringing you and partner closer because of their light-hearted nature and those little silly laughs in between. In fact, even taking that time to be in each other’s presence to watch that romantic movie is a form of closeness. The other reason why men in particular are not the biggest fans of romcoms is because being corny is seen as an “unmanly” thing and men do not like expressing their true feelings. Romcoms can teach men a thing or two about showing their true feelings and not feel less of a man for doing so. It is a simple way to unlearn this toxic behavior which stops a relationship from progressing further.

The most important thing at the end of it all, when the romcom ends, is that it’s you and your partner left with the reality of your relationship. Your relationship existed before and will continue to exist after the romcom if you’re keen on moving forward. It’s not that deep at the end of the day and people watch all sorts of movies, series just for entertainment and to unwind with a glass of wine after a long day. Romcoms also give that firm of leisure and fun and who better to experience that with either than your partner. You don’t need a romcom to save your relationship if you know your relationship is strong enough to survive on its own without the pressures of society.





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