by Samantha Mdluli
How many times have you deflected a nice compliment?
Sometimes when people compliment me it feels as if they’re mocking me, at times I couldn’t understand why they’d even bother. The more I grow and surround myself with positive energy and with the body positivity movement on the rise (voluptuous women flaunting it all) I’ve come to realise that I was being ridiculous.
With that being said as people we tend to have a hard time accepting praise. You might not value yourself or low self-esteem where you don’t think highly of your abilities. It’s really an odd state of affairs when we reject something that’s intended to make us feel good but did you know that accepting and actively embracing compliments does wonders for one’s self-esteem.
If you have a negative opinion of yourself, you’ll have a harder time understanding compliments because they contradict your view of yourself. When people are presented with evidence contrary to their beliefs, it creates discomfort or feelings of conflict. This is when accepting praise might feel like a lie or a mask, because you don’t actually believe it.
Accepting praise has a social benefit because it acknowledges and validates what the person praising you said. Research has shown that when you accept a compliment it not only boosts your self-esteem, but also the self-esteem of the person giving the compliment. Be reminded that giving and receiving goes hand in hand
Not accepting praise can be demotivating for yourself as well as the person praising you. This might mean that the person will be less likely to praise or compliment you in the future since the person sees that you don’t accept praise.
So how can you change the pattern of not being able to receive compliments? Here are a few tips to help you accept Praise:
- Always say “thank you” before saying “no, it’s not that nice” or “You’re exaggerating”
- With social media just hit like
- Do not try to break the compliment apart by explaining
- Don’t deflect
- Affirmations are positive sayings that can give you a boost in confidence, make you kinder to yourself, and improve your self-esteem. It’s important that these sayings highlight things you like about yourself, not just what others like about you. This allows you to learn how to be more comfortable when presented with compliments