If your parents drink a lot or use drugs of any kind, this time of year can be overwhelming. When I was growing up, both my parents drank a lot and the Christmas season was the very worst. Below are some of the things that worked for me. Today, as an adult, I get to choose how I spend my holiday. I hope some of these tips will help you.

1. No matter what, don't give up. Some teenagers feel so sad and lonely this time of year that they commit suicide. If you feel suicidal tell someone-a trusted teacher, a counselor at school, a relative or one of your friend's parents. Pick someone who you trust and someone who's easy to talk to.

2. If you're sad there can be many reasons. For one thing, your parents drinking or drug use may increase this time of year and ignore you even more. Then there are less hours of sunlight right now (December 21st is the shortest day of the year-the one with the least amount of daylight hours). Some people, including me, experience a change in their body chemistry due to the lack of sunlight (this is known as SAD). Also, as much as you look forward to a break from school, if you home isn't peaceful because your parents drink or use drugs-your body may be going through more stress which can also contribute to depression. Some of the foods we eat at this time of year may taste great but they really are hard on your body. If you can, try to avoid eating sweets. The sugar can make you feel really good then really bad. On top of all that, there are all these TV shows where everybody loves each other and the whole family gets along. It can really make you feel bad about your own life. So just know there are many things that make you feel bad at this time of year, but sooner or later this holiday season will end.

3. Find safe places to go. Even if it's really cold, maybe you can bundle up and take 2 or 3 long walks each day. Is there a library where you can just sit and read a book or draw? Are there any clubs like boys or girls clubs that will be open? Do you have a relative or friend you can hang out with? If nothing else, consider hanging out at a mall.

4. Find a way to make your own fun. When parents drink or use drugs they may become irrational or abusive. If you can quietly hang out in your room and read, listen to music with head phones, draw, day dream or surf the internet.

5. Know that it's not your fault. If your parents have a problem with alcohol or drugs, know it's their problem. You could be absolutely gorgeous, a strait A student and the most popular person in school and your parents would still drink. Your parents may say really cruel things to you like "I wish you had never been born" or "I can't stand you", but their drinking has nothing to do with who you are.

6. Realize your parents may be very sick. Alcoholism and drug addiction are complex diseases. I used to think if my parents just loved me enough they'd stop drinking. But unfortunately, neither one of my parents could stop. My Mom got help late in life and for the past 20 years she's lived sober. My dad died of alcoholism. Other people can just party a lot and may not be addicted to alcohol or drugs. But it's really hard to tell sometimes who's alcoholic and who just drinks too much. Unfortunately, you may find you are more mature than your parents. It's not right that you have to live this way, but it may be your reality and you may be powerless to deal with it.

7. Pay attention to time. Alcoholics and drug addicts usually are better to deal with in the morning. Leave them alone when they first get up unless you really need something. Avoid them at night. Try to talk to your parent during the late morning or early afternoon hours.

8. Do what you can for yourself. My mom would often stay in bed for days. So I learned how to make my meals and made the best of it.

9. Report abuse. If someone hits you or your brother or sister or hurts your pet or forces you to do things that make you feel dirty and bad about your body, get help. No one has the right to abuse you physically or sexually. If this is happening talk to a teacher, a counselor at school, a relative or one of your friend's parents. If someone is being hit in your home and you can get to a phone call 911 and give the police your address.

10. Avoid your parent's friends if they've been drinking. My parents liked to throw huge cocktail parties. I learned the hard way that it was best for me and my brother to come down early in the evening, say hello and then disappear the rest of the night. Sometimes my brother and I would hang out upstairs, other times we snuck out of the house and stayed with friends.

11. Set low expectations for the holidays and look for other things to make you happy. If your parents use alcohol and drugs they most likely are not paying attention to you. They are not likely to buy you what you want for Christmas. Look for other things to make you happy. For me, I loved to watch it snow, I liked to sit by the fireplace and I learned how to bake. Look for ways to make yourself happy without your parents being involved.

12. Look for places you can get help. Most likely there are some on-line support groups for teens. Also, ask your school counselor about support groups in your area. Sometimes it helps to know you're not alone-that other kids are dealing with the same stuff as you. When you go to support groups, try to focus on what other people do to make their own life better.

13. Keep in mind that someday you will be an adult and do everything you can to prepare for that time. Someday you'll be able to live by yourself, have your own car, maybe have a family if you want, travel to Europe, or have a great job. Many people who came from homes like yours went on to have great lives. The world is big and awesome. Starting right now, become your own best friend. Take classes you enjoy, study for good grades, take care of you body and treat yourself with dignity even if no one else in your family does.

14. Don't poke the beast. Remember you are NEVER, EVER to blame yourself for your parents drinking or drug use. However, it may helpful if you quite some behaviors you know will make them upset. When a parent is drunk or high or coming down from a high they are more likely to be quick to anger and more likely to hurt you with words or violence. Things that are likely to get them upset may include loud music, dressing in a way they hate, and making a lot of noise. Sure you're angry and you'd like to scream at them but in the long run, what good will it do you. How can you avoid them and make your own life better? Remember be your own best friend.

15. Find a healthy way to express your anger. You have a right to be angry and if you keep trying to pretend you're not angry you may get depressed. A few ways to deal with your anger might include physical exercise like running, tennis or racketball. I like to beat the water when I swim. You can also grab a pillow and slam it on your bed over and over until you feel better. Some people like to write stuff down and then tear up what they write. Other people make art. What helps you deal with your anger?

Kate Garvey is a freelance writer and director of Pet Care Resouce Center of America. Visit http://www.PetCareRCA.com to get more tips on how to take care of yourself this holiday.

Kate is also a freelance writer (http://www.kategarvey.net), and the author of several books; "Aging, Death and Euthanasia-A Guide for People with Pets", "Summer Pet Care Tips", and "The Low Risk Guide for Real Estate Investment."